IMPERFECT PARTNERS

IMPERFECT PARTNERS

God created man, and as the epic goes, God then created the very first woman from the rib of that very man. Thereafter God past on the miracle of creation of man, primarily to women. Today, there is no man that wasn't born of a woman, whether he exited via a birth canal or not. God has elevated the status of women to give birth to kings, presidents, rulers, leaders and men in general so that they would care for them, marry them, protect them and provide for them.  

For this honour, man should firstly be grateful to God and grateful to women because women do make the best mothers, the best grandmothers, the best sisters, the best wives, the best daughters and the best grand daughters. Essentially, they occupy a role that no man can ever fill. But, women are emotional creatures yet blessed with the inherent maternal values to care and nurture, which they more likely than not shower on their babies, toddlers and children in general. 

Unfortunately some of them grow up to become Narcissists, usurpers, abusers, losers, thieves, murderers, etc for whatever reason, disappointing the hell out of their own mothers. Generally woman are pretty amazing but regrettably some among them don't make such good  mothers and fall short in the maternal department which can traumatize their offspring emotionally and often times permanently - and possibly the reason why some don't turn out that great.

Men are pragmatic creatures yet blessed with inherent paternal values, strengths and affections suited to provide for their progeny. Unfortunately some of them make terrible husbands and horrible fathers, who fall short or shirk their responsibilities for whatever reason. Some even abandon their families, resulting in delinquent sons and traumatized daughters with feeble self worth.  Be that as it may, men have a natural affinity towards affection, friendship and warmth; and women represent the absolute pinnacle of caring and love for a man. 

This womanly quality cannot be not found in anyone or anything else. Restated, man cannot find this quality in another man, neither a cat, a dog, a horse, a house, a farm, a harvest nor money. God  Almighty blessed both men and women with numerous other qualities, many of them shared by both, but there are some which are specific and unique to women and some specific and unique to men. 

It is generally accepted that women are weaker than men, but this does not suggest that women are inferior to men because men and women equal. However, to  recognize this equality is to realize and accept that each has their individual and different roles to fulfill. 

Religion plays a  huge role in the makeup of each of these individuals and scripture provides moral guidance for both. They say couples who pray together stay together. With respect, trust and mutual love as the basis of  marriage, there is no reason why this shouldn't be the case.

Reading the above gives you some idea of the pool from which to choose you life partner. There are decent, good, honest and hounourable people out there and there are scoundrels, unprincipled, dishonest people out there. They will deceive you, they will steal from you, they will hurt you, they will cheat on you, they will disappoint you, they will astound you, and they may even mislead you. Among them Narcissists constitution 5% of the global population.

In order to choose a life partner, comparable to yourself, you need to be a good judge of character. Observing peoples reaction in different situations should give you a pretty good idea whether or not you dating Dr. Jekyll of Mr Hyde or its female version. Everyone has expectations when they enter into a marriage but a good policy is not to have expectations because then you cannot be disappointed by your expectations. 

The reason for marriage should not be to legitimize your sex lives nor a gateway of fulfill  your carnal desires, but an earnest desire and sincerely to be with the partner you chose for the rest of your life. The true purpose of marriage is to protect your dignity and chastity and your children, and not merely to fulfill one's carnal desires like animals do. 

Marriage is about becoming best of friends, and becoming one another's committed helpers and becoming another's confidants. Marriage is also about embracing the idiosyncrasies of your partner and seeing all the good in them and not single out the one bad thing they did or do. There is a saying that goes something like this: 'for the good that you do, no one remembers, but for the one bad thing you do, no one forgets'. 

Let this not be the basis of your marriage. Marriage is hard work and is not a  one-size-fits-all formula because every marriage is different, even unique. Marriage can be a bed of roses or a pit in hell, so before taking that leap of faith, make pretty darn sure that you made the right choice. Shacking up is not the answer because the drawbacks and the issues associated with it, by far exceeds the benefits.

Advice for men:

1) Reverence the wombs that bore you,

2) Appreciate the wife's sacrifice and her willingness to help out with expenses.

3) Honesty is the best policy in any  mature relationship.

4) Don't brush your wife off and diminish what she has to say because she is your equal in your partnership. 

5) Your contempt will poison your  relationship and  deep down  show your lack of respect and trust.

6) Be romantic and express your affection in a meaningful way like kissing her goodbye in the morning, phone her during the day to tell her that you miss her and look forward to seeing her later.

7) Set aside at least one night per week for date night.

8) Be her greatest supporter.

Advice for women:

1) Never undermine your husband, it is a sure way for him to start to resent you.

2) Honour, respect and appreciate your husband’s sacrifices, a mere 'thank you for doing this for me or us' may be sufficient but a kiss on the cheek or a hug from behind resting your check on his back can make all the difference.

3) Keep your sex life invigorated by dress up in a sexy negligee, understand that he is a sexual being and  meet him at the front door.

4) Surprise him with a good cooked meal for supper.

5) It certainly isn't too much to ask.